it's a bit dangerous to think of God playing a game against you and laughing at you when you screw up.  because it isn't true.  it isn't who he is.  i believe all our unhappiness comes from misunderstanding who God is and what he wants for our lives.  we all do it and it sucks and we'll probably be doing it for our whole lives b/c he is infinite.  but it's ok, as long as it leads us to true understanding and knowledge of him.  keep searching for those good things and continue getting rid of the thoughts that God is mean or playing against you.  perhaps you feel that someone in your life disaproves of your actions and you start thinking God does too.  but picture it more like this:  you make a dumb "move" and God says "oooh, that isn't the best thing to do.  NOW let me see how i can help her, what little and big miracles i can step in with...what new things i can put in her path."  i truly believe he LOVES to do those things.  God's "will" can be translated as his wish, his desire, or his passion.  he has a passion for our lives!  "If God is for us, who can be against us?!"

josh. are you okay? i hope you get better soon so we can talk and go to ihop.

p.s. - at least you know how to play chess.

<3davey